Dating
Many teenagers spend a lot of time thinking about dating. Here's one teen's opinion on the subject.
I decided to abstain from premarital sex many moons ago, but I think there's something else God wants me to give up for right now, too. I think God wants me to give up romantic dating. The dating I'm talking about is the kind that places more emphasis on the guy or girl I am dating than on God Himself. You know the kind where I’m too busy thinking about the other person's body to care about their soul. I don't want to sound like I'm a "perfect Christian" who never has a problem with my thoughts about the opposite sex, it's just that I've observed the heartache that some of my close, mature Christian friends have felt as the result of their dating relationships that have gone sour.
I'm eighteen years old and I've chosen to have casual friendships rather than romantic dating relationships with girls. Actually, there is almost nothing I would like more than to date a beautiful Christian girl, but I don't think that's God's plan for me right now. I could charm my way into a girl's heart on a date by treating her like the queen that she is, but if I'm not ready to back up my romantic ruses with a serious commitment, then I have no right to toy with a girl's emotions. I want my relationship with girls to be the type that their future husbands will be able to say to me, "Thank you for guarding my wife's heart, and thank you for guarding her purity." (Harris, 99)
This doesn't mean that I don't have good Christian friends of the opposite sex. In fact I think that interacting with the opposite sex is essential. After all, marriage is also learning to get along on issues beyond physical intimacy. By abstaining from dating right now I am free to build friendships with girls free of guilt and also work on building myself by putting God first in my life and preparing myself practically and financially to care for my wife. I have to keep reminding myself not to become more concerned about what a lovely creature of God thinks of me than of what God Himself thinks of me.
I know I will eventually have to date (or court) so I can get to know my wife, but I'm waiting for the woman whom I know loves me deeply but who puts me second to God. Even if I were dating, my girlfriend wouldn't belong to me, she would belong to God. I believe that if I give God the best of my singleness now, He will give me a wife for life whose stunning physical beauty will be out-shined by her love for Jesus Christ.
So what do you think? Am I on the right track or should I buy a can of oranges, a coconut and sail to Alaska and sing spontaneous songs about the price of tea in China?
I would appreciate any feedback you have. Please e-mail me and let me know what you think! Hope to hear from you soon!
With a renewing heart,
G.I. Joe :-) Note - Although I had already come up with most of these ideas on my own, my thinking was refined by Joshua Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Questar Publishers, Inc., 1997. I just wanted to give credit where credit is due!
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery'. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart ..." - Matthew 5:27-28
Feel free to use this piece of writing for ministry purposes but please give http://www.fishnetministries.org/ credit. Thank you.
More Teen Articles
Living Life to the Fullest Teen Article
What Really Matters Teen Article
I decided to abstain from premarital sex many moons ago, but I think there's something else God wants me to give up for right now, too. I think God wants me to give up romantic dating. The dating I'm talking about is the kind that places more emphasis on the guy or girl I am dating than on God Himself. You know the kind where I’m too busy thinking about the other person's body to care about their soul. I don't want to sound like I'm a "perfect Christian" who never has a problem with my thoughts about the opposite sex, it's just that I've observed the heartache that some of my close, mature Christian friends have felt as the result of their dating relationships that have gone sour.
I'm eighteen years old and I've chosen to have casual friendships rather than romantic dating relationships with girls. Actually, there is almost nothing I would like more than to date a beautiful Christian girl, but I don't think that's God's plan for me right now. I could charm my way into a girl's heart on a date by treating her like the queen that she is, but if I'm not ready to back up my romantic ruses with a serious commitment, then I have no right to toy with a girl's emotions. I want my relationship with girls to be the type that their future husbands will be able to say to me, "Thank you for guarding my wife's heart, and thank you for guarding her purity." (Harris, 99)
This doesn't mean that I don't have good Christian friends of the opposite sex. In fact I think that interacting with the opposite sex is essential. After all, marriage is also learning to get along on issues beyond physical intimacy. By abstaining from dating right now I am free to build friendships with girls free of guilt and also work on building myself by putting God first in my life and preparing myself practically and financially to care for my wife. I have to keep reminding myself not to become more concerned about what a lovely creature of God thinks of me than of what God Himself thinks of me.
I know I will eventually have to date (or court) so I can get to know my wife, but I'm waiting for the woman whom I know loves me deeply but who puts me second to God. Even if I were dating, my girlfriend wouldn't belong to me, she would belong to God. I believe that if I give God the best of my singleness now, He will give me a wife for life whose stunning physical beauty will be out-shined by her love for Jesus Christ.
So what do you think? Am I on the right track or should I buy a can of oranges, a coconut and sail to Alaska and sing spontaneous songs about the price of tea in China?
I would appreciate any feedback you have. Please e-mail me and let me know what you think! Hope to hear from you soon!
With a renewing heart,
G.I. Joe :-) Note - Although I had already come up with most of these ideas on my own, my thinking was refined by Joshua Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Questar Publishers, Inc., 1997. I just wanted to give credit where credit is due!
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery'. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart ..." - Matthew 5:27-28
Feel free to use this piece of writing for ministry purposes but please give http://www.fishnetministries.org/ credit. Thank you.
More Teen Articles
Living Life to the Fullest Teen Article
What Really Matters Teen Article